08 July 2005
I <3 ...
Yesterday I was reminded of many things.
I awoke to the morning NPR broadcast (some of the morning DJ are just too much for me early in the morning, and let us be honest – they really do not go well with my morning habit of coffee and The Post out on the bench in front of the house). I bolted up in bed when I heard the news of London. I felt as if my heart was breaking all over again. I looked out the window and was grateful that it was not clear, cloudless, and beautiful outside, and prayed that it was not like that in London that morning.
For me now, days that are filled with clear blue skies, light warm wind, and sunshine no longer bring me the happiness that I once felt.
Instead I remember the sirens of the city - coming from all directions, the occasional honking of car horns of people that wanted and needed to go to their loved ones, people hurrying around me on the street, panicking, crying, screaming into cell phones, wondering where the 4th plane was, and when it would hit us. I remember stopping on the street where I was, and lifting my face to the sun. I remember thinking and noticing so many things – and knowing that this day would be filled with many moments that I would always remember. How the sky was that perfect shade of blue. How warm the sun was, but that the breeze made one think that it was cooler than it really was. The feeling of my sun dress ruffling above my knees. The heavy weight of my newly received graduation aquamarine earrings that were having their first outing that day - as I had picked them out for wearing that morning because they perfectly matched the blue flowers on my dress. How much taller I was due to
the height of my high heels. The tastelessness of the air. The smell of roses that would soon start to fade. No one stopped and asked me if I was okay. No one wondered why I had tears rolling down my face. No one wondered why I did not wipe up the eyeliner and mascara that the tears had made; everyone knew that it was probably a pointless thing to do, as soon there would be more tears. For a moment on a busy and crowded city street, in the capital of the country that I had been born in and loved - I was alone.
This is what I thought of yesterday morning when I heard. I could feel the panic of that day.
I lived that day in my mind again.
It happens sometimes when I least expect it.
It still hits me like a ton of bricks.
My thoughts are with the people of the UK, and everyone around the world.
Perhaps some day, events such as 9-11, Madrid, Russia, the Underground/bus bombings yesterdays and all of the other things that go on in our world right now will be looked upon as events of an uncivilized society.
