13 May 2004
Family history...
I thank everyone for the kind words and thoughts that you have been sending me in regards to the situation with my grandfather. I have been asked a few questions about him and my relationship with him. As with most things in life, it is complicated. I’ll start explaining my relationship with my last living grandfather by explaining the backgrounds and childhoods of all of my grandparents. As you will see, things were different growing up for each and every one of them, but there is one thing in common with all of them. They got to where they wanted to be by education, which may help to explain to those that may not know me as well why I am so education driven. It is in my blood. It has been the tested and proven method of getting ahead in your life on both sides of my family.
Growing up I had always heard the stories of the lives of my grandparents directly from them, with the exception of my father’s father. The stories are of such different times and events that as a young child, they were usually better than the book stories that were read to me.
My Mother’s mother (Mom-Mom) lived a life of privilege in Philadelphia and grew up on Second Street where even her parents had grown up, right across the street from one another. Eventually they married (he first became a detective with the PPD and she went to finishing school and then traveled all over the states and Europe). They had two girls (Aunt Beth and my Grandmother) and a son (Daniel) who died when he was just a few months old. Aunt Beth (she was almost 8 years older than my Mom-Mom) told me that my Grandmother was their mother’s saving sanity - as she was so heart broken when Daniel died. Sadly, My Great Grandmother did not get to enjoy her daughters as she died in the influenza out break. My Great Grandfather did not remarry until the girls were grown and raised (with the help of the other women in both families). From all accounts, it was a very happy childhood. She learned how to ride a bike and to drive a car, which was not common for the women of her time and society. She went to college and at the time of her graduation was offered a scholarship by the University of Pennsylvania to become a doctor. Her Father had allowed her many freedoms in life, but he found it unacceptable for his daughter to become a doctor, as she would be exposed to so many undesirables and told her that she would become a teacher. Finally, a compromise was reached and she started her Ph.D. in biochemistry at UPenn until the war (II) broke out and she left her program (they granted her a MS) and got a job working for the war effort.
My Mother’s Father (Pop-Pop) had a much different life. His mother had come over from Ireland to marry his father. Life was much better here in the States than in Ireland. She had a house, a child, a good husband and was able to stay at home while her husband went out and worked. However, life would take a sudden and devastating change for them. His father also died in the influenza out break, and my grandfather was sent to live in a home for boys without fathers while his Mother worked long hours as a maid for a family on the Main Line. They had fallen quickly from stable middle class, and now had become what many people called “poor ignorant Irish”. (Oddly enough, in high school I sat next to the Granddaughter of one of the children that Hannah had watched over. My grandfather commented how strange life and can be and how things can even out when he saw her name in my yearbook.) My Grandfather worked hard to get ahead in life, was rejected from military service as he was the sole care taker of his mother (it is actually still a rule the military cannot take your only child if you have no spouse). He made the best of the situation and went to college in Philadelphia (Drexel) and got a job working in a gun powder factory during the war - where he met my Grandmother who was analyzing the components of the gun powder that would eventually go into the casings that he was designing. They married when my Grandmother was 34, and she retired from working so that she could raise their 5 children. Eventually she did return to teaching, but by the time I was born her sight was failing her. She claimed it was from the hours she spent looking through the microscopes in the lab – hummm…who does that sound like?.
My Father’s family does not have the long history in the States that my Mother’s has. All of them came around the turn of century to escape the persecution that had started in Europe - even before most people realize. All are from what was the Austrian Hungarian Empire. My Father’s Mother’s (Nana) family was from the area that would now be known as Cracow (Krakow), Poland. My Father’s Father (Bob) what would now be known as Austria as well as few people that came from the Russian area. When asked what I am (family wise) it has become easier to just say Irish on my Mother’s side and Austrian Hungarian "Ashkenazic" Jewish on my Father’s.
(Did you know that the word “Ashkenazic” means “Germany” in Hebrew? Hence why Yiddish is based upon German. The Jews that inhabited other parts of Europe are known as "Sephardim” Jews. They are historically Spanish and Middle Eastern. They have their own language know as “Ladino” and are the ones that ‘wrote’ “The Kabbalah”. There are your fun facts for the day!)
My Grandma Clara (Nana’s mother) and one of her sisters (Goldie) were sent to live with relatives in the States after their mother died and their father remarried a woman that could only be described as mean and nasty. In the new world, they both were educated and found jobs when school was finished. Life was not perfect, but it was better then the life back in the old country. Eventually, they both married men (for love) and sadly my Aunt Goldie and Uncle Sidney were never able to have children, so they spoiled my Nana and Aunt Evy (short for Evelyn). I remember my visits to them as a child – they were always fun and extremely loving. The family of my Grandma Clara and Aunt Goldie that were left in the old country were never heard from again after the Great War. Their names are listed on intake sheets from various camps, but there are no records of them being liberated by the Allies. The household that my Nana grew up in was not rich, but they always had enough as the story goes. (The Creator made sure that they were provided for.) The girls grew up in the Brooklyn, where education was pushed and there were no excuses for not knowing your lessons or your Torah.
Bob of the other hand had a different upbringing. By all accounts, his Mother made Hannah look like a saint. She was a demanding woman that was unhappy with everything and everyone, including herself. The stories that I know about his up bringing are not from him, as he has never spoken of his parents or of his brother to me. I barely remember his father (Grandpa Max) but my mother even to this day will tell you that you could have never met a more wonderful man. My Grandfather’s parents spoke little, if any English when they came over here. When the Depression hit, he went out to Central Park and sold fruit. He also did something else - he took pictures of people with their children. When my mother asked him why he did this he replied, “Why would anyone not want a picture of his or her child?” He went on to explain that he figured if he enjoyed having pictures of his own children, how could anyone else not enjoy this small comfort. Eventually, my Grandfather’s mother left his father claiming that she was not well enough provided for. Many that knew him claimed that he never recovered from this. Those that knew my great grandmother have stated that she was pretty, but mean. She was a woman that loved beautiful things and wanted them and did not care what she had to do to get them. It did not matter to her who’s dreams and hopes she would have to shatter, but as long as she was happy that was all that mattered. It was one thing when she did this to a grown man, but she also took her unhappiness out on her own children. My grandfather realized at an early age that the only way that he was going to get out of this situation was to get ahead in life. So he studied hard and did well in school. He met my Grandmother who was 3.5 years younger than him, but in the same year of high school. He went off to the Navy for a few years while she “grew up some”, changed his last name to sound less Jewish, returned from the war and married my grandmother who was now 19.5 years old. They were married on Christmas Day. He then got his undergraduate degree from Cooper Union and then went on for his MME degree at Cornel. During this time, my Grandmother on the other hand was keeping busy by raising my Uncle Chuck and my Father along with working on her own undergraduate degree at NYU. Eventually they moved out to Long Island and by this time my Uncle Teddy had come along.
Growing up I had always heard the stories of the lives of my grandparents directly from them, with the exception of my father’s father. The stories are of such different times and events that as a young child, they were usually better than the book stories that were read to me.
My Mother’s mother (Mom-Mom) lived a life of privilege in Philadelphia and grew up on Second Street where even her parents had grown up, right across the street from one another. Eventually they married (he first became a detective with the PPD and she went to finishing school and then traveled all over the states and Europe). They had two girls (Aunt Beth and my Grandmother) and a son (Daniel) who died when he was just a few months old. Aunt Beth (she was almost 8 years older than my Mom-Mom) told me that my Grandmother was their mother’s saving sanity - as she was so heart broken when Daniel died. Sadly, My Great Grandmother did not get to enjoy her daughters as she died in the influenza out break. My Great Grandfather did not remarry until the girls were grown and raised (with the help of the other women in both families). From all accounts, it was a very happy childhood. She learned how to ride a bike and to drive a car, which was not common for the women of her time and society. She went to college and at the time of her graduation was offered a scholarship by the University of Pennsylvania to become a doctor. Her Father had allowed her many freedoms in life, but he found it unacceptable for his daughter to become a doctor, as she would be exposed to so many undesirables and told her that she would become a teacher. Finally, a compromise was reached and she started her Ph.D. in biochemistry at UPenn until the war (II) broke out and she left her program (they granted her a MS) and got a job working for the war effort.
My Mother’s Father (Pop-Pop) had a much different life. His mother had come over from Ireland to marry his father. Life was much better here in the States than in Ireland. She had a house, a child, a good husband and was able to stay at home while her husband went out and worked. However, life would take a sudden and devastating change for them. His father also died in the influenza out break, and my grandfather was sent to live in a home for boys without fathers while his Mother worked long hours as a maid for a family on the Main Line. They had fallen quickly from stable middle class, and now had become what many people called “poor ignorant Irish”. (Oddly enough, in high school I sat next to the Granddaughter of one of the children that Hannah had watched over. My grandfather commented how strange life and can be and how things can even out when he saw her name in my yearbook.) My Grandfather worked hard to get ahead in life, was rejected from military service as he was the sole care taker of his mother (it is actually still a rule the military cannot take your only child if you have no spouse). He made the best of the situation and went to college in Philadelphia (Drexel) and got a job working in a gun powder factory during the war - where he met my Grandmother who was analyzing the components of the gun powder that would eventually go into the casings that he was designing. They married when my Grandmother was 34, and she retired from working so that she could raise their 5 children. Eventually she did return to teaching, but by the time I was born her sight was failing her. She claimed it was from the hours she spent looking through the microscopes in the lab – hummm…who does that sound like?.
My Father’s family does not have the long history in the States that my Mother’s has. All of them came around the turn of century to escape the persecution that had started in Europe - even before most people realize. All are from what was the Austrian Hungarian Empire. My Father’s Mother’s (Nana) family was from the area that would now be known as Cracow (Krakow), Poland. My Father’s Father (Bob) what would now be known as Austria as well as few people that came from the Russian area. When asked what I am (family wise) it has become easier to just say Irish on my Mother’s side and Austrian Hungarian "Ashkenazic" Jewish on my Father’s.
(Did you know that the word “Ashkenazic” means “Germany” in Hebrew? Hence why Yiddish is based upon German. The Jews that inhabited other parts of Europe are known as "Sephardim” Jews. They are historically Spanish and Middle Eastern. They have their own language know as “Ladino” and are the ones that ‘wrote’ “The Kabbalah”. There are your fun facts for the day!)
My Grandma Clara (Nana’s mother) and one of her sisters (Goldie) were sent to live with relatives in the States after their mother died and their father remarried a woman that could only be described as mean and nasty. In the new world, they both were educated and found jobs when school was finished. Life was not perfect, but it was better then the life back in the old country. Eventually, they both married men (for love) and sadly my Aunt Goldie and Uncle Sidney were never able to have children, so they spoiled my Nana and Aunt Evy (short for Evelyn). I remember my visits to them as a child – they were always fun and extremely loving. The family of my Grandma Clara and Aunt Goldie that were left in the old country were never heard from again after the Great War. Their names are listed on intake sheets from various camps, but there are no records of them being liberated by the Allies. The household that my Nana grew up in was not rich, but they always had enough as the story goes. (The Creator made sure that they were provided for.) The girls grew up in the Brooklyn, where education was pushed and there were no excuses for not knowing your lessons or your Torah.
Bob of the other hand had a different upbringing. By all accounts, his Mother made Hannah look like a saint. She was a demanding woman that was unhappy with everything and everyone, including herself. The stories that I know about his up bringing are not from him, as he has never spoken of his parents or of his brother to me. I barely remember his father (Grandpa Max) but my mother even to this day will tell you that you could have never met a more wonderful man. My Grandfather’s parents spoke little, if any English when they came over here. When the Depression hit, he went out to Central Park and sold fruit. He also did something else - he took pictures of people with their children. When my mother asked him why he did this he replied, “Why would anyone not want a picture of his or her child?” He went on to explain that he figured if he enjoyed having pictures of his own children, how could anyone else not enjoy this small comfort. Eventually, my Grandfather’s mother left his father claiming that she was not well enough provided for. Many that knew him claimed that he never recovered from this. Those that knew my great grandmother have stated that she was pretty, but mean. She was a woman that loved beautiful things and wanted them and did not care what she had to do to get them. It did not matter to her who’s dreams and hopes she would have to shatter, but as long as she was happy that was all that mattered. It was one thing when she did this to a grown man, but she also took her unhappiness out on her own children. My grandfather realized at an early age that the only way that he was going to get out of this situation was to get ahead in life. So he studied hard and did well in school. He met my Grandmother who was 3.5 years younger than him, but in the same year of high school. He went off to the Navy for a few years while she “grew up some”, changed his last name to sound less Jewish, returned from the war and married my grandmother who was now 19.5 years old. They were married on Christmas Day. He then got his undergraduate degree from Cooper Union and then went on for his MME degree at Cornel. During this time, my Grandmother on the other hand was keeping busy by raising my Uncle Chuck and my Father along with working on her own undergraduate degree at NYU. Eventually they moved out to Long Island and by this time my Uncle Teddy had come along.
