13 July 2004
breakdown...
Well…it is another busy day here in the lab, but at least after work I am going out for a fun night! So, the Kitten is 3 today. He enjoyed the morning with a nice long ear rub and a serving of wet food. He should be a (somewhat) happy Kitten today. I am thinking that he would be much happier if he got wet food and ear rubs all day, but sadly, the bills must be paid, so I am at work. I never did get around to taking the muscle relaxers last night as I ended up having a drink with L (in person) and Kate (via the phone) after a…well…umm…how do I put this…interesting phone conversation with a person from my past earlier in the night. It was one of those “out of the blue” phone calls that you just cannot really figure out, and just throws you for a loop. L and I had a long talk about some of the people in our pasts and if some friendships are even worth saving and if (in some cases) there really is anything left to save. I decided that I needed to on top of things today and just went to bed when L went home. (NOTE TO L: Update or you are being removed!)
But back to the topic at hand, my birthday is coming up (FYI: 31 August) in a few short bits, and I’ll be leaving my mid twenties behind. Someone asked me at my cousins wedding last month how I felt about turning 27. I am not really bothered by it, to tell the truth. But, the question got me thinking about what I have learned in since I started college (18, almost in my twenties). And it basically can be broken down in the following way.
Getting to know me:
In ’96, I went away to college. I had dated 3 different guys in high school. All very different and none of them, that “perfect fit” that we are told about. The “perfect fit” – the ability to tell your children that their father and you were “high school sweethearts”. Considering that I was now without with my family and childhood friends nearby, I decided to look upon the situations advantages. I now had the ability to learn and explore the person that I was, without worry and ridicule, or something like that. So the logical step was for me to take time off from dating. I wanted time to get to know who I was and what I thought. I wanted time to get comfortable with me. So for the first year and half of college, I really did not date anyone. So needless to say, I learned the most fundamental of lessons during this time: how to be me. Sadly there is not an instruction manual on growing up and you make a lot of mistakes along away. I have decided that it does not mater the path that you take in life, just as long as you end up at the right destination for yourself.
The downfalls of boys…and the advantages of being in the “wrong” relationship…And then I dated one person for a summer and when that did not work, I ended up meeting and dating a lot of different people. One person stuck out. I really cannot say why now. Maybe it was because he was not going to be around for long - he was visiting for the semester so that he could do an internship here in D.C. before he graduated from a far off college. Maybe it was just the excitement of everything. And eventually, things just snowballed from there. For over two years it was he and I. He stayed here (far away from his family, friends and loved ones) while I finished up college. But, needless to say, it ended up not working out. It was a messy breakup, to put it mildly. So, that puts me at 22/23. Moving out of my early twenties the following life lessons were learned:(A) when a person is not right for you, (B) how and when to stand up for yourself, (C) and who my real friends are.
Yes, I am single. Now get over it…I spent my mid twenties getting comfortable (again) in my own skin, not as easy as it may sound. I had the most wonderful of roomies (Dave) during these years. Once I was willing (and able) to face the world of dating again, I became what the roomie called “the breaker of little boys hearts”. It was not meant to be evil or to get out some hostility towards men in any way. They all had the same “three month rule”. During this time it was acceptable (for either one of us) to still date other people. I would warn them ahead of time, if they were looking for just sex, that they would have to look else where as I was not going to be “putting out”. It is funny, I had a guy actually try to persuade me out of this idea, but as far as I was (and am) concerned for me – I waited long enough and have always been careful (not that everything ended up being perfect) to worry about “what if something went wrong” with some guy that I do not even know. But needless today, sometimes I did not think things were going well or they did not and so nothing very serious came out of those relationships – but I did meet some really cool guys who I still consider to be friends. I also started grad school, which oddly enough is easier than undergrad – but then again I don’t have those dreaded chemistry classes! I also had a job during this time that was less than satisfactory on so many levels. I remembered the lessons that I had learned before and drew upon them – even though I ended up losing my job because I fought what was wrong (and to be honest illegal). But I did end up with a much better (and cooler) job in the end.
So in my mid twenties I learned that (A) You really can live without sex (B) That chocolate is not always a good substitute for sex (not that same loving feeling…it likes to attach itself to my hips too much) (C) That chocolate with caramel is even better than plain chocolate, but usually has more calories so you have to eat less of it (D) Your real friends will stick with you through thick and thin (and that they still love you in spite of the wider hips from the above mentioned sweets) (E) That sometimes getting to a good place, you have to travel to hell and learn to deal with the heat, at least for a bit.
So, what’s next??
I don’t know what is next. Hey, I am not even at that marker yet – although I can see it in the near distance…I’ll keep you posted…
Okay, In other news Melissa has decided that we (she and I) are going out on Thursday for what is promising to be a very long night of girl bonding and drinking. Note to self, do not drive to work on Thursday as I (a) probably will not be able to drive home and (b) may not remember where the car is…
But back to the topic at hand, my birthday is coming up (FYI: 31 August) in a few short bits, and I’ll be leaving my mid twenties behind. Someone asked me at my cousins wedding last month how I felt about turning 27. I am not really bothered by it, to tell the truth. But, the question got me thinking about what I have learned in since I started college (18, almost in my twenties). And it basically can be broken down in the following way.
Getting to know me:
In ’96, I went away to college. I had dated 3 different guys in high school. All very different and none of them, that “perfect fit” that we are told about. The “perfect fit” – the ability to tell your children that their father and you were “high school sweethearts”. Considering that I was now without with my family and childhood friends nearby, I decided to look upon the situations advantages. I now had the ability to learn and explore the person that I was, without worry and ridicule, or something like that. So the logical step was for me to take time off from dating. I wanted time to get to know who I was and what I thought. I wanted time to get comfortable with me. So for the first year and half of college, I really did not date anyone. So needless to say, I learned the most fundamental of lessons during this time: how to be me. Sadly there is not an instruction manual on growing up and you make a lot of mistakes along away. I have decided that it does not mater the path that you take in life, just as long as you end up at the right destination for yourself.
The downfalls of boys…and the advantages of being in the “wrong” relationship…And then I dated one person for a summer and when that did not work, I ended up meeting and dating a lot of different people. One person stuck out. I really cannot say why now. Maybe it was because he was not going to be around for long - he was visiting for the semester so that he could do an internship here in D.C. before he graduated from a far off college. Maybe it was just the excitement of everything. And eventually, things just snowballed from there. For over two years it was he and I. He stayed here (far away from his family, friends and loved ones) while I finished up college. But, needless to say, it ended up not working out. It was a messy breakup, to put it mildly. So, that puts me at 22/23. Moving out of my early twenties the following life lessons were learned:(A) when a person is not right for you, (B) how and when to stand up for yourself, (C) and who my real friends are.
Yes, I am single. Now get over it…I spent my mid twenties getting comfortable (again) in my own skin, not as easy as it may sound. I had the most wonderful of roomies (Dave) during these years. Once I was willing (and able) to face the world of dating again, I became what the roomie called “the breaker of little boys hearts”. It was not meant to be evil or to get out some hostility towards men in any way. They all had the same “three month rule”. During this time it was acceptable (for either one of us) to still date other people. I would warn them ahead of time, if they were looking for just sex, that they would have to look else where as I was not going to be “putting out”. It is funny, I had a guy actually try to persuade me out of this idea, but as far as I was (and am) concerned for me – I waited long enough and have always been careful (not that everything ended up being perfect) to worry about “what if something went wrong” with some guy that I do not even know. But needless today, sometimes I did not think things were going well or they did not and so nothing very serious came out of those relationships – but I did meet some really cool guys who I still consider to be friends. I also started grad school, which oddly enough is easier than undergrad – but then again I don’t have those dreaded chemistry classes! I also had a job during this time that was less than satisfactory on so many levels. I remembered the lessons that I had learned before and drew upon them – even though I ended up losing my job because I fought what was wrong (and to be honest illegal). But I did end up with a much better (and cooler) job in the end.
So in my mid twenties I learned that (A) You really can live without sex (B) That chocolate is not always a good substitute for sex (not that same loving feeling…it likes to attach itself to my hips too much) (C) That chocolate with caramel is even better than plain chocolate, but usually has more calories so you have to eat less of it (D) Your real friends will stick with you through thick and thin (and that they still love you in spite of the wider hips from the above mentioned sweets) (E) That sometimes getting to a good place, you have to travel to hell and learn to deal with the heat, at least for a bit.
So, what’s next??
I don’t know what is next. Hey, I am not even at that marker yet – although I can see it in the near distance…I’ll keep you posted…
Okay, In other news Melissa has decided that we (she and I) are going out on Thursday for what is promising to be a very long night of girl bonding and drinking. Note to self, do not drive to work on Thursday as I (a) probably will not be able to drive home and (b) may not remember where the car is…
