16 August 2004
So I am back at work today (after being here yesterday) and just trying to catch up on all that needs to be done. In addition to all of this it seems like every Jewish female in my family has called me as of late, asking to talk to my Father. Now I have not lived with my Father since I was about 2 or 3. Yet, they all call me to complain that he is not answering his phone or returning their messages.
Shoot me now, please.
Now, my Father should know better by this time (he is 50 after all!). One of the first rules for being in a Jewish family: do not piss the women folk off. You want kavetching? They’ll give it to you! For god’s sake, they are on me as it is (Not being married, and not having children as of yet). Granted, my Father has now joined in the complaining on this topic. I don’t think that I have had a conversation with him in the past three months where he has not brought up to me the fact that he would like me to get married and have children. That he would like me to be “taken care of” and that he “would like you (me) to know the joy that children can bring to a person’s life”. I have TRIED to convince him that yes, I would like to get married (someday) and that I would love to have children (eventually, if I can) but that I need to get my own life in order before taking on someone else life too. The Kitten is enough for me right now, thank you very much. He has been harping on me about how the doctors “Those VERY EXPENSIVE specialist that we have been sending you since you were 14!” have been saying for years that I need to concentrate on getting/staying pregnant ASAP! Thanks, Dad. That is just want I need to be reminded of – constantly. Anyway, back to the topic at hand, I really do not need them complaining to me about how my Father does not call them back. IT IS NOT ME! My brother should thank his lucky stars that he is only 10 months old and cannot receive these phone calls from them. (Right now, I am finding it hard to believe that he will ever really understand all of the trails that I have blazed for him). I am really sorry if my Father is being a jerk about calling people back – but take it up with him. In fact, why don’t you leave him a message telling him that? Don’t call me just to ask me to call him so that I can tell him to call you. I think that I have passed on so many of these messages as of late that he has started to screen my phone calls! Damn it! I answer the phone when the “parental ring” goes off almost every single time! He and my Mother almost never have to leave a message…I have just moved on to day three straight days of women folk calling me for this reason…granted, in the end they have wanted to talk to me (usually to complain that I don’t call or visit them enough or am not reproductive enough for them…). If this keeps up, I am actually going to use my caller ID for more than just getting the shots of vodka lined up due to the predictable nature of the phone call that I am about to answer. I’ll stop answering the phone when they call…but then again on second thought – they’ll end up calling my Mother and then everyone will get worked up…no, it is not worth it – I’ll just answer the phone and keep on taking my shots like a good girl…I wonder if D.C. liquor stores give bulk discounts on Vodka…I’ll have to check that one out…
